* * * * *
Waking up, I quickly lose track of what time it is. I looked at my phone when I initially awoke to see one thing, and later, still at the Rest Area, it appeared to have gone back an hour. Crossing into Nevada from Arizona sends you back, but I'm still in Arizona. Once I get on the interstate, I hear over the radio, "Don't forget it's daylight savings time, so you need to set your clock an hour ahead. Don't be late for work!" I'm supposed to be in Vegas by a certain time and hadn't counted on the timezone change or daylight savings, but I should still get there on time with the both of them, right? But my phone went back an hour; why did it do that? I've not only lost track what day of the week it is, I have to now admit I can no longer tell the time.
I pass signs telling me Hoover Dam is over 30 miles before Las Vegas. Hoover is something I need to see and, putting faith in my phone for proper meridiem, I think I can see it beforehand.
Hoover Dam has 2 tours. One, called the Powerplant Tour, is considered a partial tour. The full tour, called the Dam Tour, will be referred to, by me, as the Whole Dam Tour, because if the people of Page, Arizona are allowed to pun about it, I should be, too. A certain worker, I won't say which one because they probably weren't supposed to say this, told me before buying my ticket, "The [Whole] Dam Tour isn't worth it. You just get to see a few more generators." Already being worried about time, I save some money as well by going on the Powerplant Tour.
Hoover Dam is somewhere I'm going just because it's famous. Heading in, I have absolutely no idea why it's important or why tourists should care, so it's nice the tour starts with a 10 minute video explaining these things:
Hoover Dam is another dam blocking the Colorado River, the backup of which creates Lake Mead. The primary purpose of building the dam was to control the water, and the primary use of that water is crop irrigation. I remember reading California is the only state that grows lettuce in winter, and they get their irrigation water from the Hoover, so if you've ever eaten lettuce in winter, you've been affected by Hoover Dam. The hydroelectricity the dam creates is just a very large perk. Selling electricity to the surrounding states paid off the cost of building the dam and today pays the cost of running it, making it a self-sustained facility.
Another reason for the tourism draw is the historical significance: Hoover Dam was thought by some to be impossible to build. Most (maybe all, not sure) dams of the time were built as one large piece of poured concrete. For concrete to reach it's full hardness, it must go through a process known as "curing" for an extensive time (normally weeks). When curing, concrete gives off a great deal of heat: to create the Hoover Dam as one slab of concrete would take an estimated 125 years to cool. Instead, it was created in many giant bricks, one at a time, similar to a cinder block building...or legos. Steel pipes were also placed into the bricks and filled with cold water to cool the concrete faster.
While watching the video, I realize I'm beginning to stink. Normally when I start to stink it's while doing something outdoors or driving in my car: some place nobody else can smell me. But now I've started a tour, the very definition of which is being stuck tightly together with a crowd of people, smelling like rotting celery. I keep my arms completely down for the next hour.
We take an elevator, the epitome of crowd confining places, some number of stories down. On the way, our tour guide says to gulp if the pressure affects our ears. I'd heard of yawning but never gulping. After trying, I'd say gulping works much better (just FYI). The elevator takes us to a series of tunnels dug directly into the concrete.
The first thing we're shown is a spillway tunnel (there was a window between us and it so my reflection is caught in the picture): it's huge. The purpose of it is to prevent flooding of the dam. The dam can only process so much water at a time, so when the river runs faster than the dam can process, the water starts to rise. The spillway, closed off when not in use, runs directly through the dam rather than to one of its processing facilities, so if the water rises high enough to flood, the spillway doors are opened and water runs immediately to the other side of the river. The spillway tunnels at Hoover Dam have only been used twice: the first time was to test them and the second was when the river rose to 7 feet from the top.
The room we're standing in has another pipe going through the ceiling (you can see it above the spillway in the previous picture). The words "fallout shelter" and symbol painted on it disturb me slightly. Isn't a fallout shelter where you go for safety if something bad happens? Am I supposed to climb into a pipe if this place starts to flood? That's way too high for me to jump, and I'm a pretty good jumper. And why is there a radioactive symbol on it? That makes me wanna climb in even less. A pipe is a dumb place to take shelter anyway, why didn't they just make a whole room? After taking the tour, I look up "fallout shelter": apparently, I didn't completely understand the concept or the symbol.
There was a schematic on the wall giving an overhead view of the dam internals. The dam is the tannish object in the center. The 2 outermost figures are the spillway pipes. From what I can recollect, the next inside figures were spillways when the dam was being built but now divert water into the dam: I'm not sure if they can still be used as spillways. And next inside are two more pipes that are only used to bring water into the dam. And you might not be able to see it, but the 4 pipes that lead to the dam are each connected to an intake tower...
I don't recall them being mentioned in the tour, but according to the schematic, this is where water first enters the pipes leading into the dam.
These are the turbines which create the electricity. There was a museum with a life size model you could step into...
In the model, the large silver pole would be in the center of the turbine, and on the end of the metal arms attached are magnets. The water flowing through the dam spins the pole and, by proxy, the magnets. Against the interior walls of the turbine are copper wire. When you spin magnets past copper wire, electrons magically appear and electricity is made. I'll admit that last part is a little made up, but that's basically what happens.
One turbine is separate from the others. This lone generator makes all the electricity for Hoover Dam; I'm not sure why it's a different style than the others.
And this is the actual dam. Here's a closer picture to give you a better idea of the scale: the little dots on top are people...
And here's one of the doors like Chevy Chase put his head out of in Vegas Vacation:
Above is a bridge I took the first picture of the dam from. There was an employee who told me the bridge was a pretty significant build. Before, the only way to get across the river was to drive the road on top of the dam: it's 2-lane with tourists constantly walking across it. But the bridge, if I recall correctly, was a 4-lane expressway with a blocked off sidewalk on one side. People can still drive over on the dam if they want. In fact, I saw a Ferrari cross over while I was there, but I feel they probably did it just for the attention: there's not a lot of other reasons to take the dam. The surprising part about the bridge is it opened in 2010; it seems like someone would've decided a little sooner to build a better road leading into Las Vegas. You can also see beside the bridge some of the power poles leading to the electrical grid have a little lean to them.
It's a long way down, but I still kind of feel like I could slide down it in my motorcycle suit.
Leaving the dam, I wipe my arm pits with baby wipes and continue to Las Vegas. I see a Lamborghini along the way. A Ferrari and Lamborghini in the same day, and I'm not at a car show: that's a first for me. This is a different kind of city.
Check-in time at Hooters is 4:00P, but luckily, they already have my room ready when I get there around 1:00P, which gives me enough time to drop off my stuff before sitting outside the lobby to wait for my pickup. My next destination is...I don't really know where exactly. But I'm riding a dune buggy somewhere in the middle of a desert with Sun Buggy Fun Rentals. If you haven't realized yet, I've been a little infatuated with the desert up to this point in my life, so I'm getting my fill of it. Sun Buggy offers what's called the Vegas Mini Baja Chase which is basically a game of follow the leader in a dune buggy with one of the company's guides up front. They offer hotel pickup, so I wait out front until I see a minibus with a dune buggy mounted on top pull up to the curb. In a city of Ferraris and Lamborghinis, I feel a bit like a hick stepping into a dune buggy mounted minibus, but the windows are tinted and I don't know anybody anyway.
When I first step on, everybody seems to be pretty quiet. I consider breaking the silence with, "Hey driver, what kind of mileage do you get on a dune buggy mounted bus," but don't know if everybody will understand it's a joke.
After me, the driver picks up 2 guys from New York who sit across from me. They seem younger than the other bus occupants so I start up a conversation with them. One of them mentions he likes Nascar and that Las Vegas is racing today. He brings this up because we pass the racetrack on our way into the desert.
From this point on, I only had my GoPro, so these pictures'll all be screenshots from video I recorded.
We arrive at the desert to a line up of different dune buggies. There are other people, not with any sort of tour, driving out in the desert as well: it seems the land is public domain. We all get a helmet and goggles: I stretch my camera head mount over my helmet.
Getting the buggy to start is a mostly straight forward procedure: on your left, you flip a switch up for power and push a button for ignition. However...whereas I would normally hold the brake to start a car, my buggy has trouble starting so I'm told to give it some gas. This confuses me a bit, because what if I want to come to a complete stop? Is the engine going to shut off? We're supposed to do some circles while waiting for the guide to get in his buggy, so I don't worry about it too much since we probably won't stop during a buggy chase anyway.
After a minute or so of doing circles, the guide starts up his buggy. It's me and the New Yorkers chasing together. Every buggy has a flag, with the guide's being a different color, so as long as the guy in front of you is chasing the leader or chasing someone who is, you can chase the guy in front of you and everyone stays together. When the guide comes out, he goes right through our circles, so we all have to slow down. I stop so the other 2 can go ahead of me...and stall my engine. Yes, coming to a complete stop in this dune buggy does cut the engine off. I try to quickly start it back up to no avail. The guides are supposed to look back every 20 or 30 seconds to make sure everyone is still following them. I don't think our guide thought to look behind him right out of the gate though...
...because there they go, off into the desert (the upper right dust in my view) while I'm stalled out 40 feet from the starting line. This has gotta be a new record for the fastest a driver has gotten left behind. I switch my power off, let it sit a second, and try it again. It finally starts and I floor it into the desert. The correct thing to do when you no longer know where your group has gone is stop where you are so they can come back. I saw where they initially went so I have to catch up quick or I'll have to stop and wait, and I don't wanna be "that guy." I come to an intersection and think I've lost them when I see flags over the hills on my right. It takes a bit of flag chasing, but I finally catch up.
These dune buggies can really take a beating. I was a bit worried at first because you sign a contract at the beginning basically saying if you break it you bought it, but this rock was probably one of the biggest things I hit going full speed and the buggy took it like a champ. The guide told us later they make all the dune buggies themselves. This was the 3rd generation and they were about to come out with a 4th, but they needed to lower the engine size because the current engine made the 4th generations jump 9 feet into the air over the dunes and they didn't think customers should go that high.
After a few minutes, we come to a hill where the guy in front of me slows down and I have to swerve off course to avoid hitting him...
…because it seems I've lost my brakes. I've gone from slowing down too much to not being able to slow down at all: I'm running the gamut on ways my brakes can be used incorrectly. Not being one to panic, unless drug dealers or snowy mountains are involved, I decide to just follow from farther away. Worst case scenario, I've got a roll cage to protect me.
Position in the chase changes your experience. One of the good things about being in back is you don't have people with failed brakes slamming into the back of you. One of the bad things is every person further away from the guide knows less about what to actually do. The guide, for instance, might go right around a dune. The guy behind the guide will then go mostly right, and the guy behind him will drive off a cliff and get you killed. It's kind've like Amish Telephone.
And that's what happened when the guy in front of me got a little behind. I suddenly noticed the rear end of his buggy fly into the air, followed by a cloud of dust. I wasn't sure if that was supposed to happen, but I don't have brakes, and before riding we were told the number 1 rule is follow your guide, and he's the only person I see to follow, so I let off the gas and go through the same spot.
What he hit was that little ditch...
...and it was not what the guide wanted us to go through:
It made for a memorable ride, but was rougher than anything else I hit the entire day.
It's hard to tell in this picture, but as long as you aren't afraid to floor it, you will find yourself getting a foot or 2 of air over some of the dunes.
The remainder of the trip is fun but pretty uneventful. I signed up for a 30 minute ride which was plenty of time, but once we got back, we're told, "A group just went out for an hour ride, and Nascar traffic has the road backed up, so we have to take you and them back together. We feel bad about having you wait, so if you want, you can go back out and get some free ride time in."
Heck yeah I'll take free ride time. The Nascar fan, who was the one I followed into a ditch, is also down for more time, but his friend is hesitant. "I'm okay, you guys go without me." He looks like an overweight person who just ran a marathon: the ride really beat him up. We decide to take a 15 minute break for him to catch up and then go back out.
20 minutes into the free ride, I see 1 of the New Yorkers wheels has broken off the axle: it's Marathon Man. He comes to a stop, me and Nascar staying behind with him: the guide just keeps on going. It takes him a minute or 2 to come back, in which time me and Nascar have decided to start doing doughnuts in the surrounding area: Nascar seems to enjoy turning in one direction more than I do though.
When the guide comes back, he radios for someone at the starting area to come where we are. Finding someone in the middle of a desert is kind've tricky. There's no street numbers or zip codes, it's just, "There's a truck on a hill and some other dune buggies just drove past us." He tells Marathon not to worry about the damages: it's just normal wear and tear, he wasn't doing anything wrong. An employee drives up in a 2-seater. He and Marathon trade buggies and then he says, "Tell home base I'm driving it back."
And so he does: the dune buggy gets driven back with 3 working wheels.
Soon after, we return, too. Reaching the end, I try pulling in slowly but hit the gas one too many times and slam into the backs of the New Yorkers...being in the back: people with failed brakes don't slam into you.
The hour long group has already returned. It's a group of 7 or 8 Frenchmen. None of them are speaking English, but since there's so many, their babbling takes over the vehicle conversation on the way back. Also, Nascar traffic, if you didn't know, is some of the worst traffic known to man, so it takes 45 minutes to an hour to finally get to anyone's hotel. The driver tried talking a little bit on the ride up, but once everyone but me is out he really speaks up.
"I normally like to talk to people and let em know about the neat things to see around town, because a lot of people this is their first time here. But those Frenchies just took over and I couldn't say much."
"You get a lot of groups like that?"
"No, not often. We get some smaller groups from Europe, but not as often from France, and especially not in groups that big. And none of em in that group could speak English."
"Really?"
"Nope, not a lick. They had a translator with em, but I think he was playing kind of dumb. That's how the French normally are: they wanna come to America and see things, but they don't wanna speak to Americans."
"Aaaah." Being an American, I've naturally heard the French are all conceited: his testimony doesn't bode well for their stereotype.
"Yeah, that's why I kinda don't care for their type."
"Everybody's got a group they don't care for."
"Lemme guess, yours is bus drivers."
We both laugh. The old man tells me about a few areas around town I might find interesting. One that particularly piques my interest is the volcano outside the Mirage. He tells me around sunset it starts to spit fire and there's some type of show there. I knew the fountain in front of the Bellagio worked with music, but I didn't know anything about a volcano.
Getting back to the hotel, I enjoy my first shower in yet another week. Next, I get rid of my hobo beard. Then, I do something I haven't done in a long time: just chill out. I watch TV while on my computer. I don't plan anything or go anywhere, I just remain unproductive for a while. Having a place you're allowed to do absolutely whatever you want for as long as you'd like is a highly underrated convenience. But as the night goes on, it's time to get down to business: I need to gamble.
I originally planned on playing craps at Hooters but found out their minimum bet is 5$ which is more than I need for my strategy. My admittedly flawed strategy, which many of you won't completely understand due to not knowing craps, is to bet a hundredth of my money on Don't Pass at a time. If I win, I gain a dollar. If I lose, I double my bet on Don't Pass. If I win my doubled bet, I gain enough money to go back to a value as if I'd won that original 1 dollar, and if I lose, I double my bet again. The flaw, which may be obvious if you gamble a lot or are good at math, is that my bet is growing exponentially, meaning it gets very big very fast. That's why I only bet a hundredth at a time: to run out of enough money to continue my strategy, I would have to lose 6 times in a row. That's possible, but not likely. I'll also be playing 6$ on Don't Odds if the point is 4 or 10. I'm choosing only 4 or 10 because the likely hood of an unlucky streak happening on 4 and 10 is lower than the other numbers, and in the simulator, it's always unlucky streaks that end up killing me.
I decide to play at Jokers Wild in Henderson, the neighboring city of Las Vegas: it's one of the few casinos with 1$ minimums. Playing at another casino means I won't get to drink for free since I'll need to drive back to my room, but if I can win enough money it'll be worth it. The first thing I do, however, is go to the Hooters craps table and just watch. I want to get an idea of how the game is played at a real table before I go to Jokers Wild, the reason being 2 things I read about craps players: 1) they're very superstitious, and 2) they think first time male players (virgins) are bad luck. If the first one is true, then I don't want the second one being revealed, lest I hear whining and complaining from a bunch of old men.
Jokers Wild is 18 minutes away. Walking in, I immediately see the craps table. It's fairly full, but there's enough room for me to join. The first thing I need to do is get chips. I used to think there was some sort of booth to go to, but reading about craps I found you give the money directly to the workers at the craps table. I watch the table for a minute and see a man give money and get chips, as expected. A couple minutes later I decide to join and hold out my money.
"Can I get some chips?"
"After this point."
Gah! Money is only traded between points (rounds basically). I didn't know that but it makes perfect sense. I still didn't grasp this completely until after the game though, so I decided to just wait for the employee to say something to me, and after the point he says, "You wanted some chips, sir?" I hold out my money. He says something to me. I don't know what he's saying though. He's using craps lingo and I don't know craps lingo, so I just say, “Chips.” Whatever he's saying, he keeps saying it, and I keep responding, "Chips. Chips. Chips," like I'm some sort of parrot. Finally, the man on my left says, "Put the money on the table for him!" I do. He takes the money and gives me chips. Apparently, the workers and gamblers can't touch the money at the same time. I'm sure there's a good reason for this, but I don't know it, and the guy on my left definitely knows I'm a virgin now.
I gave the worker 5 20s. He set them out one at a time, very purposefully, in front of everybody. I'm sure it's not the first time they've seen somebody get 100$ in chips, but I think, “Did you have to put it out there like that? I'm not sure if I like other people seeing my money counted. Are they gonna think I'm a gambling addict for getting 100$ in chips?”
Once I get my chips, I begin applying my strategy, and it works pretty well. Playing Don't Pass is called playing the dark side in craps because it's against what the majority of players do. The odds are more in your favor of playing Don't Pass, yet, for no reason other than tradition from what I can tell, all the other people at this table are playing Pass, and that's generally how it goes. Because of this, I'm supposed to try blending in and not get too happy when I win, lest I get beat up by a bunch of old men. If you could convince a whole table of craps players to play Don't Pass, you could all cheer together for having better odds. Unfortunately, this is not that table, so I continue my strategy alone and continue to win money 1$ at a time.
I enjoyed the thought of getting into craps because it was described as a fast paced game when I first read about it. And it does play fast...on a simulator. If you're only making a Pass bet, which is the very first bet of a round, it's a belligerently slow game in real life. There are all sorts of bets you can make in craps and the more experienced players want to make them all, so every time the dice are thrown, about 20 more bets get made; the table I was playing at had 3 employees to handle it compared to other table games normally having 1. My bet requires the round to end which could take anywhere from 1 to infinity rolls, so I've got a lot of waiting to do. This mass amount of time together does give you a good chance to meet the other players though.
There were 2 younger guys on the end of the table to my far left. 1 kept reminding the other to pick up his bet when he won it: "I'm saving this guy his lease payment by reminding him to get his Come Bet."
The grumpy man on my left got traded out for another older man who kept talking about probability and statistics of the game. Not knowing the game well enough, I couldn't quite follow what he was saying, but he felt the need to keep talking about it. "So this guy tells me, it's just a game, it's not rocket science, so I went home, got a sheet of paper, wrote it all out and showed him and said, 'Yeah, it is rocket science.'" He told me that story twice. He said a lot of things more than once. He was very excited to talk about the math of craps and it seemed like he didn't have a lot of people willing to listen to it: I feel like casinos are where men in Vegas go to when they're middle aged and without family.
On my right was originally what appeared to be a Gulf War Veteran from his hat. He was a happy-go-lucky guy at first, but I think me silently winning money on the Don't Pass killed his buzz and he eventually left. Replacing him was a guy with what I best guessed was a Middle Eastern to Indian accent. It's now I'll point out how truly superstitious craps players are: these people are to gambling what the sports fan who wears the same pair of underwear every time his team plays is to athletics. Everybody has a peculiar way they set up and throw the dice, but this guy's took the cake. He'd first rotate them both to show the 6 on top. Then, he'd spin them both so another one of the numbers (I forget which one) was facing his direction. Next, he'd put them front to back so they were touching each other. And this is the best part: he picks up the one in front, taps in on top of the other one, and then puts the tapper behind the tapped, making sure they touch again, before finally picking them up to throw. This happened every-single-roll.
He was a fun guy though. I'm not sure if he was doing well, but the excitement he showed when he was winning made me think he was. "I lost 350$ at [some other casino], so I came down here to try to win it back!"
Eventually, the dice get to me. When you roll dice in craps, you're supposed to throw them from your half of the table against the wall at the end of the opposite half of the table which means giving a little bit of force into it. On my first throw, I throw one of the die off the table...it will not be the only die of the night I throw off either. But nobody gives me too much trouble about it and I quickly re-roll correctly. One of the times I roll, I Pass, and the accented guy says, "I know you're losing money by betting against yourself, but thank you for winning for me!"
I think all the guys at the table are local because they seem to know the employees who are all talking very casually with us. The one I handed my money to seems to be a bit nerdy and is pretty entertaining. I'm trying to be nice to everyone to avoid attention, but at one point he refers to me and says, "Do we have a courteous craps player at the table tonight? Hey [other worker], we've got a courteous craps player. I don't think you belong here." It's true, craps players are straight forward and crude with each other and the workers. I suppose it comes with the pace of the game. The man on my left at one point refers to the man on my right by saying, "This guy gets too excited about winning," without any lowering of his voice. He several times talks about 2 old men at the end of the table on my right as well, saying out loud, "And I've got these old guys who've been in casinos all their life and still don't know how to play craps right." I also hear him and one of the younger guys beside him discussing my bet doubling strategy. They discuss how bad it is, how many people they've seen lose with it, and how fast one can say goodbye to their money with it. Well, I can't say much being the new guy, but I get 30-40 dollars ahead so I don't mind the talk.
That is, I'm ahead until the dice reach the 2 old men on my right. The first old man rolls 3 or 4 Passes in a row before I get very nervous...Don't Pass. Oh thank goodness, I thought I was gonna lose it all. The old men always seem to throw better than the other players, but neither had thrown that well yet. It's the 2nd old man though. He's been leaning against the table with a hunch, like he can barely hold himself up. I'm surprised he can pick up the dice...
Pass.
Pass.
Pass.
Pass.
Pass.
Pass.
You dirty old bastard. My strategy, which is obvious to everybody at the table, has been exploited. "That's startin' to get expensive for you," the nerdy worker says. Because of my money gained, I could go one more time and bet 64$, but I think he's gonna Pass it. I'm sitting out the rest of this guys rolls, and it's a good thing, because he rolls 3 or 4 more passes. It's now I start to think about something I never would've thought before: these guys might actually be able to affect their roll. I don't think any of the superstitious nonsense, like worrying about virgins or tapping your die, does anything, but in the simulator, the rolls are completely random, judged by a computer. Every player here is TRYING to Pass. I just wrote off their attempts at rolling the dice a certain way as wasted energy, yet the older rollers always seem to do better. The young guys on the end haven't thrown any streaks yet. If the way the player rolls can actually affect the outcome, it would make sense the more experienced players would be better at it. The odds of Pass and Don't Pass are nearly 50/50 as it is, so I decide to change things up and start betting on Pass.
At this point, I haven't lost a whole lot of money because of the 40 or so I gained, but my intention wasn't to leave with some money lost or some money won, I wanted to double or nothing it. I look at the time though, and it's already well past 10:00P. I'm not sure what time I got here, but I'm pretty sure I've been playing for hours and just lost all my winnings and more. If I want to win I've gotta start betting more. So I start betting 5$ increments instead of 1s. I win some, but 5 dollars builds up quick, so I lose to around 55$ before I realize, it's only gonna take a small streak for me to lose it all before I have a chance to win it back, and I'm getting really tired. I need to double or lose my money right now.
I say the idea out loud and the mathematician says, "I mean you could, but it's a big risk." The dice come around to me and the employee with them says, "Place a bet please, sir." I look down at the dice in front of me, "Place a bet please, sir." You have to bet to roll. “Sir, please place a come out bet.” Her voice is annoying me. So I start putting all my chips on the Pass bet: you would've thought I bet my life. The entire table goes silent. The nerdy worker says, "You're going all in? We got somebody goin' all in over here!" The floor manager comes over to see and says, "Good luck to ya," before walking away. The mathematician:
"Are you sure you wanna do that all on the Come bet?"
"It's alright, I put this money aside for gambling. I expected I might lose it all."
"Well okay...”
And the accented guy isn't sure what to say. He just looks in disbelief. For anyone who's ever played poker with me, you know this is not unlike me at all. I like to make bold bets. I get bored of playing the slow game. So for me, this is nothing out of the ordinary, but these people act like they've never seen it before. Thinking back, I don't think anyone else even bet. It's like they were scared to put their chips on the table with mine. So with 55$ on Pass, I roll the dice. 4. "Good luck," someone says. 4 is not a good Passing bet in craps. But it's not impossible. Second roll...7.
The whole table remains silent as they take my chips away. Apparently, someone from the casino is coming to take me to the gallows, because that's the only thing that deserves this level of drama. Play continues while I decide how much to tip the table. I just watch on while the players try to lose the shock. After tipping I say, "It's been nice meeting you guys, but I'm headed back to the hotel." Math man and accent guy don't know what to say. There's no, "Nice meeting you," or handshake, just a look like they're upset to see me go. The employee says, "You're going? Well thanks!" I don't think he's used to getting tipped by people who just lost all their chips.
Getting in the car, I hate I lost, but it wasn't anything too unexpected. I've got a massive headache which I didn't even realize until I stopped playing: I still haven't eaten dinner and I think it's getting to me. One of the remaining gift cards I have is for Hooter's. I've yet to use it because I feel like going into Hooter's alone makes you look a little like a pervert: the food is not good enough to go to without either having company...or being a pervert: it's really your only 2 options. I head back to the hotel, gift card in hand, and sit down in what I think is a Hooters. I look at the menu: "Pete & Shorty's Tavern". You mean to tell me I'm at the Hooter's casino and I still can't use this gift card?
I order some overpriced chicken wings, fries, and a screwdriver to go and watch TV in my room: not the end to the night I expected, but still more relaxing than my normal nightly situation.
* * * * *
I don't even set an alarm; I'm in a hotel and have done everything I needed to do in Vegas: no point in rushing the day. Once I do get up, I take another shower (2 days in a row I've bathed now: very exciting for me), before heading down to the strip.
To be as cheap as it was, Hooter's is in a pretty prime location, located closely to some of the bigger named hotels: MGM is right across the street.
At the intersection in front of MGM is also New York-New York, though the lion is a part of MGM. The shadow in the upper right hand corner is from a chain link fence I took the shot through. I point this out because after seeing it, it agitated me for days as to how I managed to get my finger in that position until I remembered what it really was.
Also at this intersection is Excalibur...
...and Tropicana...
...which looked pretty boring compared to the other 3. I didn't realize until near the end, but it seems several of the hotels, such as Tropicana and Flamingo are named after the streets they're on.
There were many people in costume lined along the strip, as is expected in such a tourist driven town.
Most people just stand around in costume, but the guy in gold was pretty neat; he had a fake, laying down, dog on a leash and a bucket saying, "Turn me on". He'd stay completely still until someone threw money in and then he'd do start popping (dancing) like he was trying to move his dog (but never to any avail).
There's a scene you probably won't see in Aiken any time soon.
The geek part of me can't help but be excited at how huge the LCD displays are here.
Here's a guy who was speed painting. He had a booth set up playing pop songs while he spray painted as fast as he could. He'd use newspapers, cardboard, and various other materials to quickly make textures, and the painting was on a platform he could spin to access different parts of the canvas faster.
He made pretty good looking stuff, especially considering how fast he was moving, but I have to question whether the brain damage of being in a hot box of paint fumes all day is worth not getting a desk job. I saw a couple other speed painters later in the day, but none of them had the hot box/music setup of this guy.
I see more famous hotels as I continue on. Of particular interest is The Bellagio for 2 reasons: 1) It's the setting of Ocean's 11, which I thought was a great movie, and 2) The fountain outside coordinates with music. When I get there, I can see the outline of the fountain in the water but am upset to see it isn't running. I thought it ran all the time, but maybe not; I'll just keep moving for now.
"Divorce Party," another thing you probably won't see in Aiken anytime soon, but probably sooner than the child level billboards for strip clubs.
This is The Mirage and a day picture of the volcano the Sun Buggy driver spoke of. I'd seen plenty of views of The Mirage in movies and pictures of Las Vegas, but this is my first time seeing the volcano in front of it.
Across from The Mirage is Casino Royale. I'd thought about playing craps here the night before because of their low minimums and was surprised upon finally seeing it. When I think "Casino Royale," I immediately think of the James Bond movie. I thought it was gonna be a ritzy, high class casino. Instead, it's a Best Western Plus located scenically next to a McDonald's.
And this is Caesars Palace, the most famous hotel in Las Vegas...for me at least. I'd almost been starstruck seeing the hotels I'd only seen on TV and in movies, but Caesars I've looked forward to more than any other. (Note, in case it wasn't obvious, one of the pictures was taken later that night.) A long time ago, so far I don't know when, I saw something on TV about Caesars Palace, talking about how much goes into the place and the brief mentioning of how some parts of the ceiling were painted like the sky and lighting around those parts changed with the time of day. I've always wanted to see that, so I decide to go in.
My initial entry is nothing spectacular. You can tell it's well taken care of and a lot of money went into the materials and decorations, but it's still just a hotel. There are lots of paintings and statues to continue giving that feeling of being in the Roman Empire.
The lobby starts to show some signs of the grandeur I expected by visiting. I continue walking though, looking for the painted ceiling. I walk through the casino and find the buffet. Casino buffets are one of the famous features of Las Vegas. I'd always heard you could get a really good buffet for cheap because they wanted you to spend all your money gambling. Wanting to eat at one tonight, I'd researched them earlier and found Caesars was pretty much the best in town. It wasn't cheap though. Prices change throughout the day and could range anywhere from 20$ at breakfast to 60$ at dinner. I decide to ask the hostess how much the buffet cost at this time. She tells me 39$. I'm starting to get hungry, but not 39$ hungry.
I haven't found the painted ceiling, but I've been looking around long enough I decide to give up. I walk towards what I think is an exit only to read, "Pool Closed." Well if that's not the exit, where is it? I look around for a sign. Casinos are tricky: every single thing they do is made to keep you in the casino. There are no signs as to where the exit is. After walking around for another 5 minutes, I realize I'm lost in Caesars Palace.
Walking in, I started taking pictures, had no intention of spending money, and am not a guest. I really wasn't sure if I was even allowed in under those circumstances and now I've got no idea how to get out. I don't think I'll stick out too much since the public is invited in to play, eat, and shop, but walking around dumbfounded with a camera is probably not what casino security likes to see. There are signs, but all of them are for things inside the hotel. Finally, I realize I can follow the signs at least to the lobby, and from there, I know how to get out. After escaping, I reflect on how astonishingly huge Caesars Palace is. I'd entered what looked like a normal sized hotel building and was met with a labyrinth of unending ways to spend your money. And that was only 1 building. Caesars Palace has at least 5 buildings from what I can tell, making it a beast of a hotel casino. I think if I ever come back to Las Vegas I'd definitely like to stay at Caesars at least once; it seems like the top of the line for Vegas hotels.
Caesars amazement doesn't just stop at the hotel interior. The outside property has quite a collection of impressive statues, including 1 of a literal seahorse which I thought was a hilarious non-attempt at humor.
Walking back to Hooter's, I decide to walk through several more of the hotels, including Bellagio. Taking a turn down one of the hallways, I smell a strong floral scent. I look behind me to see what must be the coolest flower garden I've ever seen, though I haven't seen a lot:
Good job to whoever at Bellagio thought that up; feeling shrunk was a really neat experience.
Getting back to Hooter's, I try to plan the rest of my night. There are 4 things I'd like to do: see a show, eat at a buffet, see the volcano and fountain, and swim in the pool. As far as shows go, I decide Cirque Du Soleil at The Mirage would probably be the most entertaining and Las Vegas-esque show I could ask for. Looking for a buffet, I find out it's pretty much a flat out lie that any of them are affordable. All the Las Vegas buffets worth anything are going to cost you 25+$. The Rio has one that's more affordable than most though. I find out the Bellagio fountain goes off every 30 or 15 minutes depending on the time of day and The Mirage volcano, contrary to the driver's estimation of "around sunset," goes off at precisely 7P and continues every hour until 11P. I can see the fountain and volcano between 6:45 to 7:00, eat at Rio after, and then see if The Mirage has any tickets left for the late showing of Cirque. As far as swimming goes, it's still sunny outside and I've got a couple hours before I need to start any of this, so I head down.
Well, it was sunny at least. Between the time it took me to look outside from my room and go downstairs, a huge cloud blew in front of the sun. I've been dying to get in a pool for a while now. It's one of those things, when you're homeless, hot, and nasty, you just crave at certain points, like a pregnant woman with a certain type of food. So against the cloud's wishes, I buy a drink and get in anyway: it's freezing. I'm the only one in the pool. There's what appears to be maybe a hot tub area where a few people are, but I didn't come here to get in a hot tub. I wanted a pool, so I'm going to freeze my ass off in a pool. 30-40 minutes later, I'm done with my drink and retreat for my room. The pool wasn't very pleasant, but I'll bet I won't be craving it again for a while.
After cleaning up, it's about time to head out. I'll need to drive though since my locations are a little spread out. Unfortunately, this means finding parking, which is surprisingly easy compared to most big towns because every casino normally has a parking garage that's free to the public, but still a bit time consuming. I find a spot at Bellagio, but you can't walk out of the parking garage due to lack of sidewalks...you have to walk through the casino. Again, everything the casino does is made to keep you in the casino. I noticed even the majority of their exterior facing doors are confusing. They'll have handles designed for push on the inside when the door requires a pull to get out (or vice versa). I finally make my way outside but too late for the 6:45 show. The Mirage is too far to get to by 7, so I stick around for the fountain.
The Bellagio fountain show starts with little spigots suddenly peaking up out of the water: apparently they stay folded down between shows. Next, the music starts to play. I would think there are different songs but didn't see multiple shows to find out, so for this show, it was some type of operatic music. As the singer sings and the music plays, the lights go on and off and the fountain sprays in different ways and at different pressures. It felt a bit short but was still an entertaining show (and free).
Since the next showing of the volcano isn't until 8, I take my time walking to The Mirage. I consider eating first as to not waste time, but I'd rather ensure I see the free show than miss it eating and only see the show I have to pay for. On the way, I watch some street performers who break dance and jump over people and take some night pictures of Caesars.
By the time I get to Mirage, there's already a crowd of people along the rails of the volcano. I stand near the front of it, as suggested by the driver.
There are little turtle shell like structures positioned on top of the water and volcano. At 8, they start to open up, and a small flame appears. Then, jungle music starts to play.
The show starts out slow, with the volcano just bubbling. To give the appearance of lava, it looks like they filled the volcano with water which is lit up with red, orange, and yellow lights as it sprays up into the air; it looks really good.
The volcano also lets off some real explosions.
The turtle shells shoot little fireballs off at various intervals. Near the end of the show, the music builds up until, eventually, all the shells are shooting fireballs in unison, ending with a big explosion from the volcano. It's a pretty good show. Whether it's better than the fountain, I don't know: it's kind've apples to oranges since they're using completely different elements and musical styles.
Done with the shows, I need to eat. I start walking down to Rio. Being an off the strip hotel, I get a quarter of the way there before realizing it's much farther than I thought. I've already seen some sketchy characters going as far as I have, so I decide to turn around and drive the car. Upon entering the hotel, I see a poster advertising a much higher price than I'd researched for their buffet. I'm already here though, so I might as well go in.
Finding my way to the buffet, I see what looks like quite a hefty line. I'd read there were often large lines at the buffets in Las Vegas that could potentially take longer than an hour to get through. It's a weekday at an off the strip hotel: if this buffet has a line, they're all gonna have a line. So I change my strategy from buffets to steaks: I've also heard you can get a good cheap steak in Las Vegas. Being picky about where I go for such one time events as eating a cheap steak in Las Vegas, it takes me a while to find a restaurant worth going to. I find one on the other side of town: surely it won't be crowded.
It's an hour wait. At this point, I've spent so much time looking for somewhere to eat it'll be impossible to eat and see a show, so I decide to just eat at the hotel. Earlier in the day, I'd been walking through and realized "Pete & Shorty's" wasn't the only restaurant in the hotel. I'd been sticking to one side of the casino, but on the other side was both a Hooter's and a place called "Mad Onion." Due to the vertical, all caps lettering on the outside of their restaurant, I first thought it was an unnamed restaurant advertising "Madonion" food, as in, from the country of Madonia, which isn't a place. I thought it was some type of Asian restaurant, but it turns out it's more a steakhouse. It's not the best steakhouse from the reviews, but it's fair, I'm starving, and it's not totally expensive. However, when I get there, the waiter lets me know there's an all you can eat crab leg special. So after searching across town for a steakhouse, I order crab legs.
I was worried about the legs not being good for the price, but not only was there nothing wrong with them, but they came pre-shelled: there was a shear of shell missing from ever area meat could be found. I'm not as crazy about crab as I think most people are, and I'm a horrible cracker, so I normally avoid them because the trouble isn't worth the meat, so it's a very pleasant surprise. Even pre-shelled though, it's not a food I'm ecstatic about. I determine while eating that my enjoyment of a food should not be based purely on how much butter it can absorb, so I should probably never order them again.
After dinner, I go to Hooter's to have a few drinks and watch UFC. Being alone in Vegas is definitely not the same as being with other people in Vegas. I'm glad I got to come alone to do some of the super touristy things, such as taking pictures of the hotels and watching street performers, but I think I'll definitely be looking forward to coming back with a group. Neither of my nights were vastly, "Stays in Vegas," exciting, but I get to say I saw Las Vegas, and that's what I wanted to do.
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