It's the Rest Area security guard. I open the door.
"Yeah?"
"There's a time limit, Sir, so that once the sun comes out you can get back on the road."
Very nice of the rest area to have a time limit to help me get back on the road. I might've woken up a little later and thought, "Was I going somewhere or is this my new home?" But it's a much nicer wake up than I expected when I heard the knocking with my eyes closed. So I change clothes and get ready to go on my first adventure: hiking in Smoky Mountain National Park. The trail I took is 4 miles long and leads to a waterfall called Ramsey Cascades. I will admit to being a bit unprepared for the physical effort required to get to the top of Ramsey Cascades. The first 1.5 miles of the trail is easy enough and I still needed to stop several times.
It amazes me that government land has such easy opportunities for you to kill yourself. I've gone from working for the Department of Energy where you can't walk fast without 3 people telling you to slow down, to hiking in a National Park where "Explore the great outdoors!" becomes "Slip up and see what happens punk."
After reaching the 1.5 mile mark of the trail, you'll find this sign:
Consider this sign to read "easy mode off". What I already had trouble with got much harder. Everything from this point on becomes steeper, rockier, and much, much wetter to the point that each step has to be taken very carefully.
Oh, and if you don't like crossing rickety ass bridges or landsliding trails, you may not want to take this route.
The further up I go, I start to see more and more ice and snow frozen all over.
At a certain point I think I may have missed something. "There's no way I've not gone 2.5 miles yet...I've gone like...5 miles. Maybe I already saw the Cascades and didn't even know it? Was I supposed to turn around already?" I was the only one I'd seen all day on the trail. And so, seeking knowledge of where I was and where I needed to be, I spoke out loud to the mountain...and I spoke obscenities I'm sure the mountain had never heard before. I told the mountain it was stupid, and that I was going to beat it up, and that its mamma was soooo fat, like it didn't even know. And an amazing thing happened: I obscened at the mountain for so long that I finally made it to the top. There was one more surprisingly treacherous stretch of trail before hitting the waterfall.
Right after it was a warning to watch your kids to make sure they don't slip. That sign should've been placed 2.5 miles back. I finally reached the top.
I mentioned on Facebook that due to the extreme cold, half of the waterfall had frozen solid while the other half flowed freely.
As I come back down the mountain I see a happy couple starting up the trail near the start. They're wearing casual shoes, light jackets, and carrying no supplies. I'm wearing a heavy jacket, gloves, hat, and hiked up with toilet paper and a jug of water. Should I warn them? Should I tell them the mountain will be cold and wet and will claim to be 4 miles when it may be 10? Hell no, they can learn the same way I did!
UPDATE: Here's a link to a video I made of the Cascades!
* * *
My route to tomorrow's location is all back roads, so it's not until near the end I pass over an interstate. Trying to learn from the previous night, I search for a Rest Area. 20 minutes up one way: nothing. 20 minutes up the opposite way: nothing. I find out that although Google Maps doesn't have Rest Areas, there are sites dedicated to them. I find out this way that there are none near me. I'm forced to do some local searching only to find out there's an Air Force Base near by. Terrific, because nothing says sketchy like sleeping in your car near a military facility. I finally decide to go to a 24 hour gas station on the exit. Walking inside there are two employees standing at the counter. I ask both of them, "If I park out of the way, do you mind if I sleep in my car for the night in your lot?" I'm given two very confused looks. I expected the response of, "Sure, that's fine!" Instead I'm met with a very hesitant, "Um...I guess as long as you're not in anybody's way...that'd be okay." "Thanks." I walk out feeling judged, like they thought I was preparing to rob the joint. As I fall asleep I think to myself, "I hope they don't call the cops..."
pretty pictures :)
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